M is for… The Myth of the Perfect Toddler

Standard

P1020667
“My child never did that.”

I hear this a lot these days, as my 2-year-old finds finds new and creative ways to make me want to sink into the floor. “My son never flung himself on the floor of a restaurant.” “My daughter never attempted to eat shampoo.” “My child never did (insert inappropriate, possibly illegal, activity here).” It seems like every parent besides me has somehow managed to raise the perfect toddler.

But I’m starting to wonder about this “perfect toddler.” They seem to exist more in memory than in reality. I’ve noticed that those parents regaling me with tales of well-behaved, docile toddlers are either immersed in nostalgia or are too exhausted to notice their toddler has emptied the entire refrigerator and placed all the eggs in individual Tupperware containers.

I’m convinced that this perfect toddler is a mythical creature, a bit like a unicorn or delicious sugar-free ice cream. What does this perfect toddler look like? Here are five traits of the mythical, perfect toddler, should you happen to see one in the wild, calmly eyeing the toy aisle at Target without a hint of malice in his eyes.

Continue reading

W is for… Wednesday Weird Parenting News

Standard

It’s time for another edition of Weird Parenting News. This week is filled with oddities from brazen old broads to scandalous shoulders. Don’t miss these weird stories!

WW 5-27

Don’t try this at home, folks. According to a story in the Jerusalem Post, a 65-year-old Hasidic woman has become the oldest woman in Israel to give birth. Unable to have a baby during her 46-year marriage to her husband, the woman finally conceived her baby (not pictured) via IVF outside of Israel, where it’s illegal to perform IVF on a woman over 54. While mom and baby are doing fine, the OB/GYN warned any other grannies looking to become mamas, “We do not recommend this.” Read the story here.

Dishonorable shoulders. A high school girl in Florida was stripped of her title as National Honor Society Historian for her county — after winning the election — because her sundress revealed her shoulders. At which point she came up with my new favorite quote, “They are valuing my shoulders more than my brain.” Maybe that’s why women stopped wearing shoulder pads after the 80s. Learn more here.

The health and IQ connection. In an interesting study from the University of Copenhagen and Aarhus University in Denmark, researchers found a connection between childhood infections and lower IQ scores. In the study, young men who had been hospitalized for an infection had lower IQ scores than their healthier counterparts. One theory is that the brain may be affected by inflammation during the immune response. To learn more, read the full story.

photo credit: Olivia Smiles via photopin (license)
* * *

coverBuy the book! For more Mommy madness, check out the new book, Mommy A to Z: An Encyclopedia of the Joys, Wonders, and Absurdities of Motherhood, available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple.

Like this blog? Click below to vote for Mommy A to Z on Top Mommy Blogs!

Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Join the Manic Mondays Blog Hop #52

Standard

The Mommy A to Z Manic Mondays Blog Hop Is Live!

Link up at the Manic Mondays blog hop! Last week’s hop featured inspiring and helpful posts on everything from so-called “supermoms” to how dads can help with breastfeeding. To see which posts were featured, visit this week’s blog hop!

Now it’s time for this week’s party! Link up your favorite parenting post, recipe, craft – anything you like! As always, one post (or more!) will be featured on Mommy A to Z and on Twitter. So come link up your favorite post, meet some other great bloggers, and have a great time!

Mommy A to Z Manic Mondays Blog Hop
* * *

coverBuy the book! For more Mommy madness, check out the new book, Mommy A to Z: An Encyclopedia of the Joys, Wonders, and Absurdities of Motherhood, available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple.

Like this blog? Click below to vote once a day for Mommy A to Z on Top Mommy Blogs!

Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

M is for… Music (Or, It’s Time to Put Away My Snoop Dogg CDs)

Standard

snoop2

Recently, I was driving in the car with my daughter, when Justin Timberlake came on the radio. Without thinking, I started bopping my head. I had showered that morning. I was wearing a clean shirt. Hell, yeah, I was bringing sexy back.

All of a sudden, from the back seat, I heard the following.

“You know what, Mommy? When he says ‘I’m bringing shezzy back,’ it’s really catchy.”

Umm, yes. Really catchy. Needless to say, I turned the station. Good-bye Justin, hello Adam Levine.

Lately my 6-year-old daughter has become more interested in music. She knows songs on the radio that I don’t even know, lyrics and all. And so, when playing my music on shuffle in the car, I’ve had to be more careful. Like when Snoop Dogg suddenly comes on, announcing “I got b—-s in the living room, gettin it on” or tenderly reminds his lady “I don’t love you hoes, I’m out the do’.”

Which, with my daughter in the back seat, makes me do some serious thinking. Continue reading

W is for… Wednesday Weird Parenting News

Standard

Welcome back to Weird Parenting News! This week we’re talking boys, babies, and firearms. You know, normal parenting stuff. Check out this week’s weird news items!

WW 5-20Keeping house. What happens when dual-career, college-educated couples have a baby? According to a recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, women’s workloads increase dramatically compared to men’s —  with women shouldering more than 2 hours of additional work per day compared to an additional 40 minutes for men. And with the second child, women transform into robots! Read the full story here.

Twelve not-so-angry men… plus one. A Michigan mom with twelve sons just gave birth to lucky number thirteen — another boy!  Pretty soon this family will be able to form their own basketball league. Read more here about this testosterone-fueled household.

Heat for teacher. Oklahoma governor Mary Fallin has signed a bill allowing some teachers to carry firearms in Oklahoma schools. Under this bill, school employees can carry a handgun on school property if they’ve attended either an armed security guard or reserve peace officer training program. Read more about this controversial law.

photo credit: Amelia Cleaning via photopin (license)
* * *

coverBuy the book! For more Mommy madness, check out the new book, Mommy A to Z: An Encyclopedia of the Joys, Wonders, and Absurdities of Motherhood, available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple.

Like this blog? Click below to vote for Mommy A to Z on Top Mommy Blogs!

Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Join the Manic Mondays Blog Hop #51

Standard

The Mommy A to Z Manic Mondays Blog Hop Is Live!

Link up at the Manic Mondays blog hop! Last week’s hop featured fun and helpful posts on everything from hilarious truths about being a mom to easy summer recipes. To see which posts were featured, visit this week’s blog hop!

Now it’s time for this week’s party! Link up your favorite parenting post, recipe, craft – anything you like! As always, one post (or more!) will be featured on Mommy A to Z and on Twitter. So come link up your favorite post, meet some other great bloggers, and have a great time!

Mommy A to Z Manic Mondays Blog Hop
* * *

coverBuy the book! For more Mommy madness, check out the new book, Mommy A to Z: An Encyclopedia of the Joys, Wonders, and Absurdities of Motherhood, available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple.

Like this blog? Click below to vote once a day for Mommy A to Z on Top Mommy Blogs!

Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Come Visit Me at Scary Mommy!

Standard

scary-mommyI’m at Scary Mommy today, debunking myths about work-at-home moms. If you work at home, you’ll get what I’m saying. And if you don’t, maybe you’ll stop thinking of us as lounging in front of the TV in our pajamas all day. (Well, the pajamas part is true some days.) Here’s a brief excerpt:

We all hear about the “Mommy wars” between working and stay-at-home moms. As a work-at-home mom, I don’t fit neatly into either box. I’m that mom taking client calls with a 2-year-old sitting on my head. Or surreptitiously checking emails at the playground while my daughter is distracted by a bird. Or loading up on caffeine because I was up until 2 a.m. — because the three hours a day my son is at daycare is barely enough time to get through my inbox, let alone edit a postmodern novel about a chair…

Read the full post here! Any other work-at-home moms (or dads) in the house? I’d love to your thoughts and experiences!

* * *

coverBuy the book! For more Mommy madness, check out the new book, Mommy A to Z: An Encyclopedia of the Joys, Wonders, and Absurdities of Motherhood, available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple.

Like this blog? Click below to vote for Mommy A to Z on Top Mommy Blogs!

Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!