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5 Reasons My Kindergartner Woke Me Up Today


mommy no sleep

There’s nothing like a Saturday morning. No work. No worries. No reason to rush out of bed. Unless, of course, you share your home with a small person who can’t wait to start their day — right now! Then there are infinite reasons to get your butt out of bed at 6:30 a.m. — no matter what day of the week it is. Here are some of the more creative reasons my kindergartner has woken me up at the crack of dawn.

1. To tell me I’m old. One morning I woke up around 6 a.m. to see my 5-year-old standing next to my bed, bouncing up and down with new information. We then had the following conversation:

5yo: Mommy, are you old?

Mommy: Right now I feel ancient.

5 yo: Guess what! There’s a special chair that will take you up and down the stairs! We can order it from the TV!

Mommy: That’s great, buddy. Is there a special chair that will take you down the stairs? Like right now?

2. To tell me about his dream. We all know that sometimes our little ones have scary dreams. Waking up at an ungodly hour to console a child who’s had a nightmare is just part of the job description. However, sometimes I get woken up to hear a play-by-play of what sounds more like a Nick Jr. commercial than a scary dream: So you, Mommy, and your friend Billy were in Power Ranger World when Megatron and Batman showed up with bubble gum and then we all turned into the green ninjago or the red ninjago but definitely not the white ninjago? That sounds great, buddy. Can we talk about this when it’s not 5 a.m.?

3. To ask if it’s time to [insert activity Mommy PROMISED to do today]. Mommy apparently says a lot of things. As in, Mommy, you said you’d read me a book today. Or, Mommy, you said you’d do a craft with me today. Or, Mommy, you said you’d run to the toy store with me on your back while doing my laundry, fixing my broken watch, and making me pancakes. And, of course, today starts when the sun comes up. Stop being such a slacker, Mommy!

4. To complain about his sister. It’s 7 in the morning, but apparently his sister has already ruined his life. Quite an achievement for someone who can’t figure out how to throw her socks in the hamper. Her high crime? Getting to the TV before him and putting on some show about mermaids in Australia. Oh, the humanity!

5. To ask for a snuggle. Well, OK, this one I’m pretty fine with no matter what time it is. When I hear my son’s little voice asking if he can come in the bed with me, I just can’t say no. There’s no better way to wake up than with the happy smile of my five-year-old buddy, who hasn’t completely turned from Mommy’s baby into a little boy, who still wants to hold Mommy’s hand and look into my eyes for a few moments before jumping up to race through the house bent on destruction and cheese. No amount of sleep, however much I crave it, could replace these fleeting moments. I’ll take all I can get.

Sure, once upon a time Saturdays meant lazy mornings sleeping in. And one day they will again. But for now, I’ll look forward to being woken up with the sun to discuss Ninjago and Mommy’s untimely ascent into old age. As long as these morning discussions come with a few snuggles, I won’t complain. At least not until after I’ve had my caffeine.

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