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Can We Stop Complaining About People Being Nice?


mom on phone

OK, moms, I get it. You’re too busy to answer the phone. Any form of communication besides texting should be banned under threat of voodoo-induced torture. Unannounced pop-ins to your home will lead to a visit to the secret (and kinda kinky) dungeon in the basement. Recently, I read about a mom complaining because she was invited to a mom’s night out at T.G.I. Friday’s. Will the horror never end?

You’ve spoken your truth. You’re an introvert. You’re busy. You already have a sacred sister circle. Stop intruding on your life.

Yes, everyone relates to these feelings. But let’s take a minute here. What exactly are we complaining about? People being… nice?

Can we take a moment to observe the world around us? At school and online, kids are being bullied for being different. Hell, with the new “social engineering” trend, moms are even joining in the bullying fun. As for the adults, everyone seems to be screaming or ranting these days about “those people,” whether “those people” are supporting Black Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter, whether they’re “with her” or think America needs to be “made great again,” whether they disagree about who should use which bathroom, whether they support or oppose vaccinations, and assume those with the opposite opinion are idiots. It’s totally acceptable now, if you disagree with someone, to decimate them across social media. It’s totally acceptable now, if you disagree with someone, to wear a T-shirt of that person in the crosshairs of a rifle.

Sometimes the nastiness of this world is pretty scary.

Sometimes I think End Times are upon us, and I should just buy a whole lot of mac-n-cheese boxes and bunker down with my kids until it’s over.

But then one of my friends calls. It’s one of my childless friends, who doesn’t understand that I’m hiding with my entire family under the table waiting out the Apocalypse, and why couldn’t she just text me? Or I get an email from a mom at the PTA, organizing a pottery-making night. Or it’s a call from my in-laws, wanting to know how my daughter’s soccer game went. What do these people want from me?

Yes, it’s all so inconvenient. Because I’m not really hiding under the table, as much as I might want to be. I’m cooking dinner while helping my daughter with her “fun math game homework” while trying not to cry as my toddler tells me he had an accident because we’re remodeling the downstairs bathroom and the new toilet is in a box in the middle of the kitchen, all while checking emails from clients about projects I’m going to spend all night catching up on instead of sleeping.

But you know what?

I appreciate that you care enough to see how I’m doing. I thank you for organizing an inclusive mom’s night, reaching out to moms who may not have a lot of friends and don’t know where to start making them. No, I’m probably not going to pottery night, because I can barely draw a triangle, but you rock for taking the time to add a little more kindness to the world. If you organize a Harry Potter movie marathon, I’ll be there with bells on and a platter of Mrs. Weasley’s corned beef sandwiches.

And so, friends with or without children, it may take me a few days (or weeks) to return your call. But please don’t stop calling.

Moms organizing nights out for tired, socially awkward moms like me, please don’t stop including me on your email lists.

Friends and family who drop by unannounced, I’m sorry for the mess you find here. But please don’t stop showing up.

Please don’t stop these acts of kindness. The world needs them right now. We need people who care. We need people who remember other people’s kids’ soccer games and want to hear about them, even on the phone, even at dinnertime. We need semi-awkward mom’s nights out at T.G.I. Fridays, as moms who never get invited anywhere chitchat with moms who get invited everywhere over Pink Punk martinis.

Because, personally, I’d like to see as much kindness in the world as possible before the Apocalypse comes.

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  1. We done. I agree with all you said!

  2. Amen to that!

  3. Seriously! The world needs more unprovoked caring. I’m sorry if my caring offends you. You should probably find less thoughtful friends… 😉

  4. Girl I am so with you! It always pains me when people aren’t nice haha.

    Ahoy Amigo Team

  5. Love this! I’m the same way, socially awkward but maybe if they keep asking, I’ll take them up on it! Thanks

  6. Thanks for sharing these words. People aren ;t nice because their lives are sad..

  7. Very well said! People are nice because they’re nice. Stop doubting their character.

  8. Very well put! We should appreciate that people are being nice! Kind people is one of the things that this world can never get enough of! In light of recent events we should encourage kindness even more.
    Good post, thank you.


  9. For now, enjoy every minute you can with your children. Pretty soon, they will be off to college and out on their own. Yes, it’s hectic, but take the time for your kids now, and enjoy the rewards when they are grown. They will be closer to you than you can imagine!

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