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#TBT: 5 Ways Black Friday Shoppers Are Like My Toddler

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photo credit: Steve Rhodes via photopin cc

Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s a special Throwback Thursday post, all about Black Friday shopping. The trend to shop on Thanksgiving continues to amaze me. Here we are, with the people we love most, giving thanks for all we have… just to rush out and get more? Does that gratitude just disappear with the door busters? However you choose to celebrate this year, have a wonderful holiday, and enjoy another look at “5 Ways Black Friday Shoppers Are Like My Toddler.”

Sure, I love a half-price blender as much as the next girl. And who doesn’t need a discounted life-size Olaf doll? But the lines, the crowds, the fighting over a 20% off Elsa dress like survivors battling over a can of tuna on The Walking Dead — those are all things I can live without.

As a mom to two small kids, I have enough stress in my life. In fact, Black Friday shopping is a little too reminiscent of a bad day with my 2-year-old. Here are five ways dealing with Black Friday Shoppers is like dealing with my melting-down toddler.

1. They need a nap. Yes, I’m talking about you, wild-eyed Walmart shopper who’s been waiting since 5 a.m. to save $40 on an iPad. If I wanted to deal with a sleep-deprived crankbomb shouting at me for not walking through the door fast enough, I’d listen to my 2-year-old rant for an hour because he missed his nap. Sorry, but I think I’ll stay in bed until someone without a circular rouses me at a more humane hour.

2. They need a cookie. Think that shopper who’s been dreaming of sugar plums and Target doorbusters is going to break for a nutritious breakfast? Not likely. Just as my toddler melts down when his tiny tummy is empty, a shopper who’s replaced sustenance with discounted shower curtains is not a pretty sight.

3. They need a time-out. It’s no fun trying to appease a toddler who’s screaming like a howler monkey because I moved his toy truck while vacuuming. It’s even less fun dealing with a 40-year-old man throwing a fit because I’m standing between him and a shiny new Nintendo Wii, complete with Super Mario 3D World. I’m pretty sure I get enough crazy at home.

4. They need a pacifier. It’s one thing for a sassy 2-year-old to command me to “move!” when I cross his path in the supermarket. It’s quite another to feel like I’ve rolled my shopping cart onto the set of Pulp Fiction. There’s something about competitive shopping that brings out the potty mouth in bargain hunters — and I’m referring to stronger words than the “poopy head” occasionally heard around my dinner table.

5. They need a lesson in sharing. My toddler’s favorite word at the moment is “mine” — which apparently includes everything from his sister’s doll to Mommy’s car. Similarly, a Black Friday shopper is obsessed with accumulating more and more stuff. During this season of giving, it would be nice if we could take a break from frantically grabbing all the toys in sight, and appreciate what we do have — instead of shouting “mine” each time we spot a 30% off smartphone. After all, isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about?

I know Black Friday is a tradition, and many people survive it with their dignity and bank accounts intact. I, however, plan on staying home this Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Surviving a meal with a toddler is challenging enough without dashing off to the mall while he’s still attempting to inhale the pumpkin pie.

And, come Friday, while the shoppers are battling the hordes at the local chain store, I’ll be doing what I do every day — battling for a few moments of peace and quiet. And, of course, thanking the universe for my overtired and adorable blessings — potty mouths and all.

Photo credit: photo credit: Steve Rhodes via photopin cc

Black Friday

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10 Comments

  1. I know somebody who actually has to put in the hours and work for these pseudo-toddlers on holidays. I am amazed also that anyone needs a bargain so badly that they give up their holiday to go shopping. There are sales all year long and it is not necessary to personally be at the store for every possible bargain. If a person is that needing of sales and bargains it is probably the worker.

    Happy Thanksgiving. Hoping all who touch base here today have family and friends to enjoy the day with.

  2. I’m with you. I’m staying home in the safety of my home. If my husband even suggests we head to the mall, he will be hearing my potty mouth!

  3. This is hilarious and so true! This is why I so my Black Friday shopping online!

  4. The pushing… the shoving… the name calling… at least from what I see on the news up here in Canada, Black Friday shoppers definitely act like children!!

  5. Black Friday shoppers sure have a whole lot of needs.

  6. I totally agree. I stay home instead of facing the crowd for this exact reason.

  7. Love this, which is exactly why I didn’t go anywhere except the park today! My gosh, the Walking Dead likeness is unfortunately so spot on…what happens to people on these days?! I hope they’re all getting a good night’s rest now, and reconsidering next year haha

    • The park sounds like a nice alternative! We ended up driving 2 hours to Philadelphia on a whim to get cheesesteaks. And then waiting 45 minutes on line outside the restaurant. I’m not sure this behavior makes us any better than Black Friday shoppers, although that was an excellent cheesesteak. Thanks for stopping by!

  8. Haha these are pretty spot on!! I’ve never been a fan of shopping at the stores on Black Friday. I’d much rather find an awesome online deal complete with shipping right to my door, and I don’t have to deal with all the craziness at the store. Way better if you ask me! :)

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